How to make good friends
The essence of friendship is about care and respect. It has nothing to do with money, attractiveness, or “the cool factor.” A true friend is there for you, no matter what, and having such a person in your life is a great gift. Although your closest friends are your best buds, you must evaluate your relationships when you are ready to make a change for the better. Relationships are like elevators; they are either bringing you up or taking you down. Every connection isn’t meant for the long haul… sometimes we find ourselves holding on toxic relationships that expired years earlier. Therefore, it is so important to make the right relationship choices. For your long-term success, you simply must choose the right friends. Here are some secrets to doing so
1. Be real
People are turned off by those who are constantly trying to be someone they are not. We are most comfortable around others who are comfortable in their own skin. So just be yourself. Even though you aren’t perfect, the way you handle your strengths and faults with humility and confidence will permit other people to be real and relaxed with you, as well. Real friends are relaxed around each other.
2. Be honest
Keep your promises and do what you say you’re going to do. Be reliable. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who lies. And lies always have a way of coming to the light. Also, friends will say the truth to one another, even when it’s hard. The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon, said: Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
3. Be a good listener.
Don’t watch television or text while your friend is sharing something with you. Most times people need more than good advice, they need someone to listen to them as they talk through their feelings. Ask them what’s going on in their life and how they feel.
4. Keep their secrets
Prove yourself to be a trustworthy person who will guard their secrets with your life. A good way to prove you are trustworthy is to be free to share some of your secrets with your friend. King Solomon also said: Friends come, and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.
5. Encourage your friend
Everyone needs encouragement. Find specific ways to encourage your friend. Even in the depths of their struggles, show them what you see to be special about them and be willing to pick them up when they are depressed or feel like life is pressing in on them from all sides.
6. Be loyal to your friend
This is unconditional acceptance, even when your friend makes a mistake or screws up. Be there when they are experiencing their highest highs and their lowest lows. Laugh with them, cry with them, don’t just talk about always being there. Prove it in your everyday life!
7. Be willing to work through conflict
Every relationship will hit a speed bump at one time or another. Show your friend you are willing to work through the difficult times of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes friendships grow stronger through the difficult times. Don’t give up on your friend just because you are having difficulties.
8. Watch out for your friend
When you see your friend getting into a dangerous situation whether it’s with drugs or alcohol, or maybe even a destructive relationship, be bold enough to step in and protect your friend from the harm you see coming their way.
It takes a lot of work and commitment to be a great friend. But it is worth it. Keep in mind there are people all around you who are looking for friends. So, continue developing good friends and your life will be far better for it. A good friend is a person who will help do something for you without expecting anything in return. A good friend will stand by you during good times and not-so-easy times. If you go through a painful event such as a divorce, they’ll stand by you, but many people lose friendships during these difficult times. In this case, ask yourself: “Were/are they really a good friend?”
As you can see, several qualities make a friend a good friend and set them apart from the rest. And, if you realize “you” could be a better friend, the good news is, it’s not too late.
Thank you, for taking out your precious time to read.
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Author:
Hitesh Mohan
(Licensed Psychologist)
